You're the One that I Love
by snarkysweetness
Summary: After Skye reveals what really happened in Bahrain, Melinda is forced to finally talk it out with Phil and the two try to accept that they may have lost their little girl for good.


**Title:** You're the One that I Love  
 **Author:** snarkysweetness  
 **Rating:** PG-13  
 **Pairing:** Philinda with Skye  
 **Summary:** After Skye reveals what really happened in Bahrain, Melinda is forced to finally talk it out with Phil and the two try to accept that they may have lost their little girl for good.  
 **Warnings:** Mild-angst.  
 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
 **Author's Notes:** Spoilers for the latest sneak peek.

"Melinda, what are you-" Phil paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. "We should talk about this." Melinda continued to ignore him, as she dug his hidden safe out of its hidey hole in the floor, her face hard to keep from crying.

Phil couldn't…He had never even imagined…She'd carried this alone all these years. Why? Had she not trusted him? If she had he could have helped her cope with this. Bahrain was so much worse than he'd known and he hated himself for not seeing the real reason the love of his life had broken; why such a big piece of her had been carved out.

"No, Melinda-" He stammered as she emerged from behind his desk, papers in her hand, papers that she began ripping to pieces. He dove for her but it was too late and he was left with nothing but large confetti slipping through his fingers. Now he was close to tears. He looked up at her in confusion. "Why?"

"She hates us, Phil…Me the most. Besides, she has her _real_ parents now; she doesn't need us."

He shook his head and approached her slowly, timidly taking her face in his hands. When she didn't flinch away he spoke softly. "Those are not her parents, Melinda. They abandoned her, left her to be taken by Hydra, then went on a murder spree killing dozens of agents; they're monsters, give her time and she'll see that. She's just confused."

Every time Melinda shed tears a small part of his spirit died and right now he felt closer to Hell than he ever had before. "No, I'm the monster and she sees that now. I always knew she'd see it someday."

Phil shook his head furiously and pulled her against his chest, cradling her while burying his face in her hair. "You're not a monster, Melinda; when will you realize that? You did what you had to do to save our team."

"I killed a little girl, Phil!" She cried, shaking in his arms.

He rubbed small circles on her back, pressing his lips to her temple. "You would never do that lightly, Melinda. You're not a monster; you're not." He wished she'd told him, he wished she hadn't struggled with this alone for so many years; he wished a lot of things were different.

Phil glanced down at the shredded adoption papers, his heart aching.

There were so many things he wished he could change.

"Melinda…I know you're upset and so is Skye; you know her, she didn't mean that. She's a dirty fighter, she's-"

"Like you."

Her words stung, even more so because of the look on her face as she broke away from him, angrily wiping her tears.

"I am; and I'm telling you I always regret it when it comes to you, she will too. She's got a temper; once she cools down she'll be right here apologizing and maybe if we tell her-"

"No," Melinda whispered, shaking her head. "When I found those after they took over the base I thought it was sweet but…It was foolish for me to think-I…" She looked down and he could see more tears falling. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and glanced back up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "No one deserves me as a mother, Phil. And now she has hers, she doesn't need me. I'm not sure she ever did; I was the one who needed her, not the other way around."

He reached for her again but this time she rejected him, walking around his desk, about to start pacing. He hadn't seen her do that in years, not since-

"Melinda, is this about Margaret? You…We were young, Melinda, you did what you thought-No, what _I_ thought was best."

"Cory," Melinda muttered, stopping to toy with a loose string on the armchair. "I was so mad at you for so long because I just…when I held her I thought 'she's meant to be ours' but you're right, we were young and stupid and she deserved better. And after a few years I wanted to be sure, that I made the right decision, so I tracked her down…" She met his eyes and this time the tears were flowing. "She was at the park with her parents and she was happy; she never needed me, giving her a chance at a real family was the only good thing I ever did. And…she didn't feel like ours anymore so I moved on and then with Andrew…" She blinked away more tears and took a shaky breath. "It's a good thing we had such a hard time with it, after Bahrain…I wasn't meant to be anyone's mother, Phil.

With Skye, I thought…well, I was afraid…"

"Lin-"

"She felt like ours. Like she was supposed to find us and I was so scared. I knew if I let myself get close to her this would happen; she'd find out the truth and hate me. And I couldn't fight it…I was weak."

This time he didn't give her a choice; he pulled her into his arms tightly, angrily. "Loving her isn't weak, Melinda; I did it too. And you were right, she was supposed to be ours, okay? We let our baby go so she could have the life we couldn't give her and Skye needed a family and she came to us when we were finally in a place that we could handle being parents.

Things happen the way they're supposed to; we're her family, give her time."

He could feel her stubbornly shaking her head but he was stubborn too and he held onto her for dear life, knowing she needed a good hug; she always avoided them and this time she wasn't going to.

"I had a stupid dream once…that the reason Cory didn't feel like ours was because she wasn't. That somehow Skye was our baby and then I woke up with the same pain in my chest I felt when I handed her over in that hospital; no one should ever grow up the way Skye did and if I'd ever had a hand in that…I'd never forgive myself. If Skye was ours and I didn't get to spend every moment of her life with her I'd hate myself more than for what I did…Does it make me a bad person? To love her this much and to not miss our child?"

"No, Melinda; you never got to know Mar-Cory, but you've had two years to fall in love with Skye and to train her and to mentor her and you're more her mother than you ever got a chance to be with our daughter."

They _had_ been young and stupid and she'd been the product of a drunken one-night stand he'd done his best to forget. Because he'd loved Melinda, he'd always loved Melinda, but he knew she didn't feel the same. And when she pushed him away after they'd agreed giving their baby up for adoption was the best thing for her he knew she just wanted to forget they'd ever happened.

He'd never forgive himself for putting her through that.

Maybe if he hadn't been so insistent that they couldn't have that life, that agents couldn't have families, she would have raised their daughter and been happy. Maybe if she'd been so busy being a mother she wouldn't have been in Bahrain. He'd selfishly chosen not wanting to lose his partner on the field, his best friend, over her happiness and he had to live with that every day.

He regretted that decision every day of his life, at least he had, until they'd found Skye. Melinda was right, she had felt like theirs and she wasn't the only one feeling the hurt of her rejection. But he couldn't let Melinda know, he had to be strong for her. It was the least he could do.

"We've lost her, haven't we?" She whispered, his shirt now balled into her fist.

Phil brushed his lips across her forehead and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Maybe…but we still have each other." They'd both fight for Skye if they had to but if she really wanted to go, to be with her birth parents, then they wouldn't stop her. They both loved her too much to not let her go.

She placed her hand on his cheek sadly. "I love you, Phil, but I'm sorry; that isn't good enough anymore."

It wasn't for him either.

Phil turned his head to press a kiss against her palm. "I know," he mumbled, wondering how that beautiful, spirited young girl had changed so much in such a short amount of time.

He wasn't sure he could survive losing her again.

"Knock, knock?" A timid voice called from the doorway, pulling them apart quickly at the sound. Skye stood in the doorway, cheeks and eyes red, toying with the sleeves of her jacket, eyes on the floor.

Before he could speak her name Melinda was rushing to her, pulling her into a bear hug. Skye hugged her back tightly and buried her face in Melinda's neck.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's okay."

"No, it's not; I know why you had to do it…She was out of control, I'm sorry, May. I'm…I don't…Please don't hate me."

Melinda shook her head and ran her fingers through Skye's hair. "There is nothing you could do that will ever make me hate you."

Skye sobbed and held Melinda tighter.

Phil wrapped his arms around both of them and kissed the top of Skye's head. He refrained from whispering an 'I told you so' and instead gazed down at his girls with a smile. Yes, Skye had a temper that matched his and she fought dirty but she reminded him so much of Melinda. Her spirit, her light, the way she fought for the people she loved, the way she disregarded the rules. He wondered now, for the first time in years, what their daughter looked like. As he studied the two of them he thought she'd look a lot like Skye; he used to think the resemblance was why it was so hard for Melinda to warm up to her and so easy for him to love her. But now he knew it was just Skye; she was impossible not to love, eventually.

Though…

"She does kind of have my chin." He didn't even realize he'd muttered it aloud until they both stared up at him quizzically. Well…Skye was quizzical and Melinda glared.

"What? Are we sure she isn't ours?"

Melinda sighed and shook her head, using her fingers to fix Skye's hair while Skye rolled her eyes and wiped away her tears.

"That would be my luck; to find my family only to discover it's a lie."

The mention of finding her 'family' stung far more than it should. He had to remind himself that no matter how he felt he wasn't her family, not really; not unless she wanted him to be.

"At least we know that's not possible, right? It's not like you two have some secret love child hidden away somewhere they could have swapped me with."

They locked eyes for a moment, both thinking the same thing; what if?

But Melinda shook it off first, leading Skye to his desk so they could resume the conversation they were having before she'd hit below the belt then stormed off.

"Don't worry, our love child is twenty-six going on twenty-seven this summer, you're only twenty-five going on twenty-six," Melinda teased.

"Actually-"

Phil closed the door and shook his head, knowing better than to hope.

"Hey…are these what I think they are? Were you going to try to adopt me?"

Okay, so maybe they were going to have a different conversation.


End file.
